I know it has been awhile since I last wrote and I am very sorry. Things have taken off here in Colorado, and like I mentioned before life is crazy. Well the boys are all settled in school. John is doing so great, and everyone just loves him. My favorite part about this school is that everyday they send home a note book and the teacher writes notes in it about the day and then I can write back. It is such a great window into his everyday life at school. He is even in regular ed. for part of the day, doing work even spelling tests, which he is very good at. And he is reading which is so great. It really is such a blessing to see how far my John has come in a few years, tough years, but worth every minute and I can't wait to see where we go from here. James is doing great and loving school, he misses Annie's class so much and his friends there. Jordan is great, he is getting OT and Speech once a week here at home and is doing great, he is making a lot more sounds, so we are such trying to get some words out of his little mouth. The screaming and crying is getting worse so the I ask the Lord everyday for my strength and patience as I deal with him. This was the time with John that was the hardest and I am remember just how hard it was as I am doing it all over again. I am trying to get all of my Medicaid stuff done so that I can get Jordan to a doctor to see about tubes in his ears and hopefully that will help some. But prayer for him and I that we can work together and that the Lord work in me to be the best mom even in this trying time. I am doing well, resting in my Lord everyday. And some days are harder than others, but deep in my heart I am well. A true peace has settled over me and I am constantly reminded of Phil. 4:6. I am always anxious about everything, but my Lord is telling me not to be, he will take care of everything, I just need to tell him what is going on in my heart and even when I can't find the words, he still knows and he will still hold me and answer me. I am also reminded that our God is a just God so nothing slips past him, the way I have been hurt and the anger and sadness I feel over that, God has not looked past or forgotten, those things will be dealt with between that person and God. I sometimes feel like secret sins are not remembered in God's eyes because no person can see them, so how will those things be dealt with? And others only see the visible things and judge upon that, so how are others looking at me and thinking of me? But I know my God sees all and he knows my heart is pure and righteous and the things that I needed to change in me are changing everyday to become more like him and whatever God needs to do in Gabe's life, God will do in his timing between him and Gabe. And I have learned a lot about mercy and compassion in my time of hurt and anger. I have control over me and my reaction to things and how I treat Gabe and I have chosen to love, forgive, be merciful and have great compassion for a man who has hurt me deeper than I ever thought possible. And that alone has brought more healing and peace than I ever thought possible and I know that is because Jesus is working in me every day to be his women, his child no matter what my outward circumstances are. Thank you everyone for your constant prayers for us.