Today was a really hard day for me, maybe shouldn't have been, but was, yet I don't think anyone knows the weight this day has been on my shoulders or the weight that next Aug. holds for me. Let me explain...
Today was John's transition meeting from one school to an other. The day I was praying was actually not coming, the day that we all knew would make us deal with the fact that change has to come, no matter how hard it is. And as I sat in a room filled with 8 people who love my son so much, my heart was overcome. 4 of those people saddened that they had to let my little boy go and 4 that were ready to take him on and overjoyed to be apart of his little life. By the end of the meeting we were all crying, my poor husband the only man in the room sitting there while 9 women were crying their eyes out. :)
The team of John's at Independance have been such a blessing and joy to us, there are not even words to express what they have meant to us and done for John in these past two years. We are sad to leave them, sad to not have them in our lives each and every day. Sad that in some ways I lose these friends that I have made.
I am so sacred to death that this change will unglue him and that the progress we have made will fall away. Scared that this new team will not be the best for him, that they will not talk to me, that we won't click like we did before, scared that some mean kid will bully him, scared that he won't make friends or be so saddened by the ones he is leaving behind. Scared that they will leave him to fend for himself and not be cared for or handled like he was before. I trusted these women with the most precious thing in my life and they succeeded and now I have to learn to trust again and pray for success.
Now I know that I am super emotion and my son is so resilient, despite all that he struggles with and I know much of these things are unfounded and that no matter what the Lord will take care of my little boy and that he will get all that he needs. But for today and I'm sure that first day in August, I will be unsettled, sad, and heavy with worry.
Please be praying for this new team of teachers, aids and therapists. Pray for John that the transition will be smooth and a fun new adventure, and please pray for me that God will comfort my heart and mind and give me rest in this new journey.
Change does have to happen and we can either embrace it or fight it, I guess the best choice would be to embrace it, that is after all what what I teach my boys.
